All relationships will have their ups and downs- no one is immune. My husband and I have been married for thirteen years and we have had many difficult challenges come our way. From losing both of our mother’s to cancer, to surviving the early years of parenthood, our marriage survived due to the fact that we supported and nurtured each other during the low points. I have worked with countless numbers of couples going through difficult times, and there is always a common denominator to the ones that survive. No matter how deep the hurt or betrayal is, if there is a deep rooted compassion and respect for one another, it is possible to move forward in the marriage. Too many couples neglect to take ownership for their mistakes and then the trust is broken and the hurt gets deeper. If you are in a committed relationship or married, this week I want you to focus on the tools to strengthen your relationship and protect you from bumps in the road.
ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:
1. Compassion and gratitude
There are some core behaviors, when implemented, can make a dramatic difference to any relationship. Sometimes a significant other may be going through a difficult time, and by showing a little compassion, you can lift their spirits and see them in a different light. It is also easy to focus on the negatives when fighting or disagreeing. Instead focus on feeling grateful for what this person brings to your life. Feelings of gratitude will shift how you feel in the moment.
Playing games and placing blame will never solve anything. It is important to be honest with your feelings and express what you need to create a solution. Focus on the solution, not just the immediate feelings of anger or unhappiness. Women can’t expect men to read their minds, and men need to get better at communicating what is going on in their heads. Honesty will always act as your compass and lead you in the right direction.
3. Lighten up
This is a statement my mother used all the time. Too many couples overanalyze or overexaggerate something that can be worked through. When things get heated or you hit a challenging time in your relationship, take a step back and look at it from a different vantage point. Try to lose the blame and pointing of fingers, and work together as a couple to hear each other out and create healing and solutions.
Have a great week!