“B” is for Boundaries

The way in which a person loses their true goodness is just like the way that trees are destroyed by the ax. Cut down day after day, how can the mind, anymore than the tree, retain its beauty or continue to live.” Mencius. It is fairly simple, we teach others how to treat us. It is easier to blame others, easier to take responsibility off ourselves, but in reality you are the only person who can change the way others treat you. Why do people allow others to belittle or disrespect them with hurtful comments? Sometimes they treat it as a joke, this is not a joke and you shouldn’t allow this type of behavior into your life. This drains your energy, pulls you down, and stops you from attracting what you DO want in your life. By creating clear boundaries, others will respect you more and you will attract more of those people into your life. Start by creating boundaries at home and then move on to the workplace, you will build momentum and see positive results. You can continue to allow people to chop away at your spirit, the very essence of who you are, or you can respect yourself enough to put up some basic boundaries.

ACTION STEPS FOR THE WEEK:

1. Where have the boundaries been broken?
What areas of your life have you neglected to put up clear boundaries? At the workplace does your boss raise his voice or disrespect you? At home does your spouse talk down to you and not listen attentively? Do your friends call you all the time complaining and bringing you down? Write a specific list outlining where boundaries need to be put in place.

2. Inform
When you know where boundaries need to go, you need to be prepared. The first step is to inform the other person what is and is not acceptable. If your spouse is a yeller, you need to inform them in a neutral tone of voice that yelling is unacceptable. Always stay calm and neutral, you are just informing them what you won’t tolerate anymore. Practice this week how you are going to approach this group.

3. Don’t back down
If you can’t respect yourself, don’t expect others to respect you. A funny thing happens when you start creating boundaries, you will naturally attract people into your life that treat you accordingly. Don’t back down! Make a commitment to yourself this week that you will only allow people to treat you with respect and dignity.

Have a good week!