Refocusing After Setbacks

How many times have you started a diet, tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were? Don’t worry, you are not the only one! Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time-they are a natural part of life. There are however two ways of facing difficulties. You either change or alter the activity itself or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it. If you deal with difficulties correctly it will enhance your confidence. If you deal with them incorrectly by allowing them to guide where you go, it can do some damage to your self worth.  When you are faced with any setback, your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself some empowering questions. If after a setback you ask yourself something like “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?”, your mind will probably come out with “Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you”. Sound familiar? Instead, if you ask yourself a positive question like “What did I learn from this setback for next time?”, your mind will kick into solution mode and help. Again, we will all be faced with setbacks and disappointments in life, that is part of life. What will set you apart from the rest however is how you deal with it and move on. Either let the setback control you and your behaviors, or you control your thoughts and behaviors to the unfortunate situations that leap into your life every now and then.
ACTION STEPS FOR THE WEEK:
1. Acknowledge when it happens
Acknowledge when it happens to you, don’t hide from it. These things happen, so what? What questions can you ask yourself when it happens? How can I make most of this situation? What can I learn from it? What tools can I take with me next time something like this happens again? Begin the awareness phase this week.
2. These occur to even the best of us
     Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone, and that you are not being singled out. Do you believe Tiger Woods never had a bad game? Did he give up and assume he wasn’t cut out for golf? Of course not! He learned from his mistakes and used those to his advantage next time.
3. List old thoughts and replace them
     Think about the negative disempowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback. List the thoughts that typically come to mind when you are faced with setbacks. What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers? List the new thoughts to begin replacing the old ones with. Write these down now and make them a habit.

Have a great week!
Leslie